The Sales and Business Development newsletter that is targeted at Ambitious Business Owners who sell high value services and who want to drive Sales Growth. I share EVERYTHING you require to LEARN buyer behaviours, ATTRACT more clients and GROW your business in less than 4 minutes per week. Current subscribers gain ideas and insights to save time and implement practical tips to grow their business. Why not join them?
Resisting the Urge
Hello Reader, Many can’t fight the urge. They don’t mean to do it, but just they can’t resist. They often don’t even realise the impact it has had on other people. Especially potential buyers of their solution. But others spot it and when the person involved leaves the room or conversation, you can spot the sighs of relief from others. Potential buyers make a mental note to themselves of the person and their company. It says ‘Do not buy from x company, person Y is up themselves and a bit of a <insert your own swear word> 😁 What is this all about James and what relevance does it have for me? Let me explain… We all as human beings are selfish. Deep down we want what we want. We all crave affection and for others to like us and think the best of us. We want people to see us as being successful and someone that is important. We want others to see and believe that we have important lives. We all get surrounded by so many social media images and stories of people doing well that we want to show that we are the same.
I came up with this phrase to describe a person I met at a networking event once. He seemed a nice enough guy initially, but whenever someone in the group of 4 (who had just started chatting as you do at events) was discussing something they had done, he had to top-trump it. It started within a few seconds of this lady (whom we had all only just met) saying her company had seen a record month, to which I and others said ‘Congratulations, this is fantastic’. I was about to ask what she had done to achieve the results and what learnings could she share with us, but Mr Vain interrupted and said ‘Yes we also have had a record quarter. We are up on where we were this time last year.' The 3 of us said congratulations and the conversation then moved on to the type of customers they worked with. One of the other members of the group politely mentioned that they tended to work with ‘high net worth individuals’ and yep, you’ve guessed it, before anyone could ask about what they did for them or how they found it, Mr Vain piped up. ‘We work with many millionaires and people who have done incredibly well for themselves as well. We have a whose-who of rich people on our client book.’ It was then that it became clear. For whatever reason, he was just an Elevenarifer. If you had been to Tenerife, he would find some way to trump it and would say he had been to Elevenarife….
He just couldn’t help himself. In a desire to feel important and stay part of the conversation, whenever someone had something to share, he had to better it. It happened one more time and then I became bored with the conversation and made my excuses and left. I caught up with one of the group as I left the event though and I smiled when they said to me ‘You had a lucky escape’. It was clear at that point that our friend had continued to espouse how great he was even though by this time it was clear it was having the opposite effect to what he would have wanted. Was there a chance I or the other person I spoke with at the end would buy from Mr Eleven? Not in a million years. Even if his company were the last on the earth to sell a particular type of service, I would purposely look for another solution rather than buy from him!!! That was the extent of the impact his narcissistic and self-absorbing behaviour had had. What is sad though is that he probably left the event thinking it had all gone so well…… Alas, there are none so blind as those who will not see. Why have I made this the purpose of today’s email? Because, sadly, I see this behaviour happen a lot and this form of engagement is one you need to avoid if you are to keep potential buyers on your side at new events. Sure, have something to say if someone asks you a question and sure be proud of who you are and what you do but don’t become an Elevenarifer! Don’t become the person who is so self-obsessed (and insecure, yep that’s what it ultimately boils down to in my view) and who always wants to try and outdo someone else. It makes you look a dick and doesn’t reflect well on you and your company. It makes you come across as self-obsessed and shows that you have very little emotional intelligence. And those traits tend NOT to appeal to buyers!! When I leave ANY meeting or discussion with someone, I always ask myself these 3 things:
I ideally am looking for people to think:
Do I get it right all of the time? Hell no! I wish I did and I know there have been times when I have got it badly wrong when meeting people. But I do believe, deep down, that I take an interest in other people and try to understand more about them. I have ingrained ‘What' and 'How’ questions into my vocabulary and use these to understand more about other people I meet. We have all met Elevenarifers and I am sure we all have the same feelings about them. We mainly want to avoid them and deep down we probably even feel sorry for them. But what is clear is that we generally don’t want to buy from them! If you sell a high-value service or solution that requires no human interaction, then congratulations but you are in the minority. Most companies have to engage with buyers as the value of the service grows and buyers still want to buy from people they like. You don’t have to become best pals with someone to buy from them but you do need to feel an affinity for them and want to work with them if you are to give them an order. Invariably if you are an Elevenarifer, people won't want to buy from you and, in time, it will also hurt your reputation. Some people can get away with it but many can’t. For them, business can then become a struggle.
If you are one of these people and see in yourself the tendency to always talk about what you have done then have a look in the mirror and ask yourself ‘WHY’ you need to do this? The answer lies here and deeper within your soul but I am not a psychotherapist! All I do know is that you don't want to build a reputation of being an Elevenarifer! Wishing you a successful week ahead and see you next Saturday. Until then, stay focused on becoming a fly on the wall in the brain of your buyer. James How would you rate this edition? |
James White
The Sales and Business Development newsletter that is targeted at Ambitious Business Owners who sell high value services and who want to drive Sales Growth. I share EVERYTHING you require to LEARN buyer behaviours, ATTRACT more clients and GROW your business in less than 4 minutes per week. Current subscribers gain ideas and insights to save time and implement practical tips to grow their business. Why not join them?
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