Relationships Matter…

Good morning Reader,

Some people just have the knack, don't they?

They walk into rooms and regardless of who they speak with, they just seem able to build a connection.

Whereas for others it's a real challenge. Meeting new people feels awkward and daunting.

It's week 3 of the key Emotional Intelligence skills you need to be successful in Sales and this week. If you missed weeks 1 and 2, you can find what we covered here, but this week is all about…

How to build relationships and socialise with other people.

So let me start by saying that people are different. I've shared in many previous emails how there are 4 different types of people and those who are Red and Blues find this more difficult than others.

Why is it harder for them? It's not because they don't like people. It's because their style is to be more focused on tasks than people. They focus more on getting the job done than wondering what impact their actions will have on other people. Which means that they often find building relationships tougher.

If you are intrigued by what colour or style you are then reach out to me. We include a DISC test as part of our Sales Plan course and I believe it's vital you know your own style so that you can understand where your own strengths are and which areas you need to work on.

The reality is though, if you want to be able to build strong relationships, there are a few things you need to be able to do regardless of the type of person you are.

1. Smile and be friendly

We have just 7 seconds to make an impression on people before they make a judgement on us. A simple smile is such a great way to build relationships and get people on your side, even if you are a person who struggles with this.

I played golf on Thursday with someone who (by the end of the 4 hours) I thought was a lovely guy, but at the start, he was quite cold and not overly friendly. If I hadn’t had 4 hours with him, I might have thought ‘this isn't a person I want to work with’. Building relationships is about those first interactions and a simple smile and friendly welcome is something we can all do, even if we are more introverted.

2. Be curious

One of the challenges for even extroverted people is the ability to not focus on themselves. All too often because they like to talk, they make the conversation about themselves. Which isn’t a great method for socialising and building good relationships. I mean, who wants to continue chatting with someone who only wants to talk about what they like and do? It gets boring.

If you want to improve your ability to engage with people then just be a bit curious. Go into conversations or events thinking ‘What are 3 things I can learn about this person’ or ‘About this situation’ and ask open questions to find information about. Simple questions such as those below allow you to find out about people and develop a connection. It doesn't take a lot but just being a bit curious about other people and what they do, will help you build connections

How long have you been in business?
What are the key trends in your industry right now?
What hobbies do you have?

3. Learn to read people effectively

Those who build great relationships, understand how to read people and spot body language signs. They look out for signs of uncertainty, worry or happiness and respond accordingly.

This again isn't something that only those who are outgoing can do. All of us need to be better at reading other people and being able to gauge how people are feeling. Doing this is vital if you want to build good relationships.

Know when to step back and give someone space or when to reach out and support when someone looks like they need it. There are some simple signs you can look out for when you meet someone and there are countless others as well.

Become an expert in reading people and you increase your chances of knowing how to react to them. Which in turn will increase your chances of developing a connection with them to hopefully do business together.

4. Remember small details

Whether you are focused on humans or focused on facts, being able to remember information about people is another great way to get people to want to work with you.

We all forget what people say to us but we don’t forget how people make you feel and when you speak with someone and then remember key details about them at another time, they feel listened and heard. They feel like you were important to them and this (if managed correctly) can lead to building a connection.

Take a notebook (or write down notes on your phone/CRM) about the person and what they told about you. It could be something as simple as them saying ‘where they are going on holiday’ or a deadline for a project they are working on. When you next see them, ask them about it. 'When we spoke last time you were going away to xx, how was that?'

This has to be said in a friendly and supportive way, and if you do, then people will think ‘nice person to remember that’ and it will allow you to start developing a relationship with them.

I met someone else at a golf networking event on Thursday who had their dog with them. I made a note to next time ask them ‘How the dog is doing’ the next time we speak. Will it guarantee me business with them? No, but will it allow me to develop a relationship with them and make them think ‘nice of him to remember’? Hopefully so. Small details matter more than you think so take some time to note them down and remember them.

Developing relationships and being able to be social is a key emotional intelligence skill and those who build these insights achieve more.

Even if you aren’t the sort of person who feels comfortable meeting new people and being a social butterfly, it doesn’t mean that you can’t develop the skills. Focus on simple ways in which to interact with others and it will help you socialise more and in time do more business.

But how do you motivate yourself to drive yourself and your business forward? Wait until next Sat to find out.

Until then wishing you all a brilliant week ahead.

Until next Saturday, keep smiling and stay focused on becoming a fly on the wall of the brain of your buyer.

James